Three cheers for the new holder of the Mets franchise single-season record for individual adorableness and stolen bases, Jose Reyes, who stole three bases last night, tying the record with his second and breaking it with his third.

Oops, I did it again...

Way to go, Professor.

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In this post-obesity crisis world, we often look to our celebrities as role models for our food choices.

But what happens when that celebrity is used for ill? What happens when one team that we all know and trust and find utterly adorable sends us two conflicting messages?

I submit for your perusal: Jose hocking Wise chips like somebody’s grandma hocking homemade potholders at the church craft fair; Endy shilling for low-fat dairy products like Michael Pollan shilling for a local, biodiverse diet.

 

jose-chips.jpg vs. endy-milk.jpg

The problem. The solution.

Two different Mets, two different messages. Tsk tsk Jose. Sure, “Wise” brand might be able to pay you in diamonds and rubies while the 3-a-day lowfat dairy council rewards Endy with brand X yogurt and black and white pictures of cheese, but he is part of the solution and you my adorable, button-nosed, fleet-footed friend, are part of the problem.

The All Star Game

August 3, 2007

Jose Reyes, adorable pumpkin and Mets shortstop, was a total, um, star at last night’s All-Star Game. While the National League lost like they have every time in the last 10 years, Reyes “went 3-for-4, stole a base and scored a run while playing longer than any of the other 15 starting position players.” The best part is that I have to guess at what 3-for-4 means. Anyway, you can read the rest of that article here, which is all for the better because MLB.com is gayer for Reyes than I could ever be.

Seriously, they are totally biting my steez in regards to ridiculous sports writing: “As they have every year since 1996, the NL All-Stars tried but couldn’t beat their AL peers. Maybe if they were the NL All-Mets, they would have. The trio of New Yorkers in the NL’s starting lineup stood out like the Golden Gate through a fog blanket, with starters Jose Reyes, Carlos Beltran and David Wright collecting five of the NL’s first six hits.”

Ew, MLB. Grow a pair.

Group Hug!

May 30, 2007

Seriously, they’re so cute.

And for when the video gets taken down for copyright infringement, here’s the general idea:

Jose Reyes is about to give Carlos Delgado a bear hug.

 

After the Subway Series this weekend, we all learned something important. The Mets hold the spirit of New York collectively in the little burned-out chewing tobacco pouches in their lower lips. And the Yankees are losers.

But in case the fact that winning the series doesn’t really bring that home for you, Yankee fan, I’ll take a moment to state some more key points.

We have this guy:

Jose Reyes – Hotty Pants

And you have this guy:

Tyler Clippard – Abomination

We have this guy:

David Wright – 3 Home Runs

And you have this guy:

Robinson Cano – 3 Errors

That is all.

Not that I want to turn Brooklyn Skeptic into a porno site or anything (yeah right), but in the interest of sharing the bounty, here it is: a sexy GQ photo shoot of Davey and Josie (pronounced ho-see) looking, interestingly enough, sexy. Oh man.

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Um, seriously they’re going to fire me for posting porno. And it’ll be worth it.

Mets Update for Girls

April 3, 2007

baseballae193x85.jpg This is part 2 in the Mets Update for Girls series. You can relive the magic of part 1 here.

Note: Regarding the title of this invaluable series, BrooklynSkeptic is not wedded (ha ha) to traditional gender roles. But there they are, nonetheless.

I love inspirational sports movies. LOVE them. It is my favorite genre after epic fantasy. Rudy, The Karate Kid, Varsity Blues, Bad News Bears, Cool Runnings, Hoosiers, Remember the Titans, Miracle, Mighty Ducks, D2, D3, et cetera. Please feel free to add your own fave inspirational sports movie.

Anyway, what makes watching Dawson Leary sweat and yell and scream his team into victory so much more exciting than Michael Turner tossing around the ole pigskin?

The answer is…..

Backstory! In a movie, you get to see their trials and tribulations as the new kid in school who just can’t fit in, or the hard luck coach who just can’t get it together, or the Jamaican bobsled team who’s never seen snow before!

At this point you may be saying to yourself yes yes I’m totally with you, but what does this have to do with the Mets?

The answer is that the Mets are the only pro sports team that I would want to see in a feature-length movie. And guess what? They wouldn’t even need to cast FPJ as the All-American wonder boy or SLJ as the wisened coach. The Mets has those positions, and more, already filled by the most charming and lovable and photogenic men around!

Adorable 2006 Mets

Look at those precious poonums!

It’s not only me that thinks so. The Metropolitan Men have been getting a lot of press lately, filled with references to how much more charming and lovable they are than the Yankees.

See first the Village Voice article on Jose Reyes, “the most exciting and most handsome player in baseball”! (note: items in italics added by editor)

He is kind and adorable and loves reggaeton. Also, when you go to the games at Shea right around the 3rd Inning if you direct your attention to the jumbo-tron you will get the best Spanish lesson of your life from Profesor Reyes. Learn to say dedos or la puerta and he will melt your corazon.

See second the NY Mag article on David Wright, who is young and handsome and corn-fed. The article explores whether David Wright is possibly too perfect. The answer? No, not really.

Here they are together:

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There are many other talented and charming players on the team, and I encourage them to keep your eyes out for them, as I will.

So, in conclusion, when you think of the Mets in terms of inspirational sports movies it opens up a world of possibilities! When is the scene where Emilio Estevez drives out on the ice? How will we know when Rudy has finally gotten into Notre Dame? What about when, um, Kurt Russell, um, uh, uses his hatred of communism to win a hockey match? Yeah, what about that?!?

The answer is, of course, that you should to watch the Amazin’s and find out for yourself! And once you find that sweet spot, when Reyes’ every steal of a base steals your heart right along with it, then you’ve arrived and like Miss Joey Potter, you may be ready to move past that boy from the creek.

Mets Update for Girls

February 23, 2007

Baseball season has almost arrived and many of us here at Brooklyn Skeptic are already hot and bothered over the most adorable team in baseball: The Mets. While I’m sure any reputable Mets blog will give you all sorts of information about hitting and throwing stuff…and like, running after stuff…or whatever they do, we’re here to give you the hard-hitting cuteness updates all you Brooklyn girls are looking for.

Important information from the beginning of spring training:

  • “The Mets are coming together.” [Hott. – Ed.]
  • “They speak different languages. Most say hello with words. Others use different means. Reliever Scott Schoeneweis passes by the locker of second baseman Jose Valentin, extends his rigid left leg to the side and lightly taps the stool on which his onetime White Sox teammate sits. His greeting is little more than a nod. Valentin nods in response. Enough said.”
  • “Even during drills, pockets of players, based on ethnicity and language, form. But then there is Delgado lockering next to his longtime friend Shawn Green, the union of a Latino and a Jew.”
  • “Wright and fellow rising star Jose Reyes are hardly inseparable. But they know, like and trust each other. They can communicate by no more than a glance and a smile. [No need for a safety word. – Ed.] They laugh at the same things. And when either becomes more proficient in the other’s language, he will begin to complete the other’s sentences.”
  • “David Wright walks through the obstacle course of teammates, reporters, clubhouse workers, trash cans, laundry baskets and stools as if he is a one-man welcome wagon. He has hellos, handshakes, backslaps and embraces for everyone.” [Isn’t he just a cutie? – Ed.]
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