Hey! Next Wednesday (8/29) they will be screening a Mets vs. Phillies game at the Ziegfeld Movie Theater on 54th St. (btwn 6th and 7th). $10 admission.

I know it’s not everyone’s favorite idea to pay $10 to watch something that they can watch for free at a bar, and that a $6 soda is not nearly as cool as a $4 beer, but peep this…with each person’s $10 admission, you get two tickets to see the Mets vs. the Braves in September! That’s an $18 value!

Now, to all you new Metropolitans fans, if you joined the party last year you may not realize just what games against the Phillies and Braves really mean this time of year. After all, by this time last year the Mets had like a 13 game lead on the other guys and were a sure thing lock to make the playoffs. This year, however, is shaping up a lot more like most years, where even though the Mets are in first place now, the two teams behind them (the Braves and the Girl-Horses) are within striking distance. Basically, if these two teams beat the Mets in their upcoming series (we have 2 series left against each team), the Mets are F-ed. Beating other teams is cool, but beating the Braves (which the Mets have had a REALLY hard time doing this year) and the little-baby-girl-horsie-poopsy-woopsies…is absolutely essential.

So let’s go watch the Mets beat the shit out of the Phillies on a huge screen while eating Junior Mints and packing our winter-clothes to go to Shea and watch them beat the shit out of the Braves in September! YEAH!!!

Oh yeah…and this guy’s gonna be there.

fascinating.

But he’s not allowed the bring any friends

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Gothamist brings us an important news flash on the beloved Mets’ beloved Shea’s beloved Home Run Apple.

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Beloved since 1980. 

 As they move across the parking lot to the newer, fancier, shmancier stadium this venerable symbol of whalloping a ball might not make the trip with them!

 Read the full story here, get e-involved here.

After winning 8 out of their previous 10 games, the mets went to Denver on Monday to face the outcast Kazuo Matsui and his fellow Colorado Rockies. It is with great sadness that I now report, over the course of the three-game series, the Mets (like the Yankees a few weeks before), were SWEPT by the Rockies. Moreover, the total runs scored in the series favored the Rockies by a whopping 34-12. Yesterday they won 17-7. Yikes.

oy vey.

As you might have noticed (just now, while you were reading the previous sentence) the Mets did score 7 runs yesterday. This is usually enough to win a game. When you score 7 runs and lose, it’s because your pitching is terrible. That understood, it’s time to brace our-Mets loving-selves for a rough few weeks ahead.

The pitching staff the Mets have been relying on for August and September, when the games really start to count, is as follows: Tom Glavine, Orlando “El Duque” Hernandez, John Maine, Oliver Perez and Pedro Martinez. As we all know, Pedro has not pitched at all this season, after not pitching (well) all of last season due to a bum shoulder that he finally had surgery on last summer. In his place, Pedro has been ably replaced by the surprisingly consistent Jorge Sosa.

In the past week, however, any consistency the Mets hoped to rely on has been swept out from under our feet, as both Sosa and Perez have joined Pedro on the Disabled List, being replaced by the woeful Mike Pelfrey and Jason Vargas. Moreover, Glavine (41) and El Duque (listed as 36, but actually 42), have really been showing their age lately.

So with two old goats and two crying babies surrounding him in the rotation, who is John Maine to turn to for help? The Mets resident sour-puss (and Brooklyn’s Skeptic’s favorite badboy) Paul “Bazooka” LoDuca, shared his thoughts after Sunday’s loss…

“It was a helpless feeling this weekend. We couldn’t do anything to stop them. We could have had Jesus on the mound and they still would have gotten hits.”

He CAN help you hit curveball...

Maybe so, Paul…but at times like this, it couldn’t hurt to put him out there and give him a chance.

So Jesus, if you’re reading this…Willie Randolph wants you to start warming up in the bullpen. I know President David Palmer said you couldn’t help him hit curveball, but that was years ago…get over it…we really could use your help.

Not that I want to turn Brooklyn Skeptic into a porno site or anything (yeah right), but in the interest of sharing the bounty, here it is: a sexy GQ photo shoot of Davey and Josie (pronounced ho-see) looking, interestingly enough, sexy. Oh man.

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Um, seriously they’re going to fire me for posting porno. And it’ll be worth it.

Heinrich VonWright

In a display of team unity, the Mets (a few bashful heartthrobs aside) shaved their heads together on Tuesday. My feelings are mixed…

Team bonding activities = Adorable

Haircuts that further accentuate gumdrop-sized head-moles = NOT Adorable

The math is too complicated for me…I got a D in Pre-Algebra.